2008-04-08
Segments of Saneless Subconscious.
I am dared to tell Ms Lin the most outrageous lie I can concoct, and so I skulk my way up to the staff room to carry out the deed.
By the top of the spiral staircase I encounter my victim, upon which I claim to her, in utmost seriousness, that I am a lesbian, and that I slit my wrists to sleep every night because "nobody loves me".
Much to her horror, I punctuate the confession itself with claims of "Life has no meaning!" and "Why do we live?!" and "ONLY THE PAIN MAKES IT REAL."
Halfway through my tirade Ms Lin grabs me by the shoulders and gives me a hard shake, her eyes widening with absolute concern and worry, all while yelling, "Joy, this isn't healthy! That is bad for you! You need to stop, Joy! You need to stop!"
At this point I subtly hint that I was merely kidding, and upon her exclamation of "Huh?" I tell her that I was pulling her leg all along. Somehow, she is too relieved to know that I haven't been dripping blood over my sheets to scold me, and instead of dispensing a scolding she pats me on the back, murmuring "That's good to hear, Joy." before heading off.
After the ordeal I find myself in front of a computer, searching for Ms Lin's blog. I find it tucked away in a technological cranny, opening it to find a basic blogger skin, polka dots, and photographs.
But not any kind of photographs.
Photographs of pencil cases, namely teachers' pencil cases, complete with little commentaries made by none other than dear Ms Lin herself, clipped neatly at the bottom of each picture. I remember vividly a picture of Mr Jo's pencil case (a little old khaki one), complete with his purple-sleeved hand pointing almost accusingly at it.
The commentary read (roughly) as such:
Here's Mr Jo's pencil case. It's kinda small cause he changed his gigantic big one to this teeny tiny teacher's day one. Also, all his pens are empty! Must remember to buy him refills over the weekend.
I see one that is christened "Ms Sharon's pencil case" but I decide to scroll past that one to find her links. It is from here that I find myself at her photoblog, along with an array of happy photos portraying her and smiling students. As I flip through the various pictures, I find myself thinking, "My, SCGS is such an amazing place with such fantastic teachers. There's so much love around here. I love SCGS! [bimbo heart bimbo heart bimbo heart]"
It is at this point that, filled with happiness and good cheer, I skip my way down to the foyer, where I encounter Siew Jia. Overflowing with school spirit and sugar and spice, I tell her animatedly how much I love the school, how amazing the teachers are and how lucky we are to be here. After my animated speech, she proceeds to look at me blankly, before replying, "Really? I think we should blow up the school."
With absolute horror I express my utmost disagreement, crying, "But you can't! We have amazing teachers here like Ms Lin and Mr Jo and so many awesome people!"
However, halfway through my argument, a KFC van materializes out of nowhere, gliding its way through the driveway, Colonel Sanders smiling happily at us.
Solemnly, Siew Jia turns to me.
"Mr. Kentucky is happy. It is time to blow up the school."
-
At this point, I wake up. Later, after much discussion, I come up with a few possibilities:
1) I had a bad supper
2) I am too stressed (Ms Lin herself kindly informed me of this possibility, after I informed her of the dream and after she gave me the very special "Gawd, I don't know if I should strangle you or pat you sympathetically on the back" look.)
3) I am insane
4) I didn't finish my E Math homework and the very last thing I remember thinking last night was "Gee, I hope Ms Lin doesn't kill me."
inquisite at 2:52 p.m.